Anaadi - Without a beginning

In a cyclical concept of time every starting point will have to be an ending point. If time is postulated as being linear and unidirectional there will have to be an absolute starting point for time. This cyclical nature of time as believed in Indian mythology refers to time as 'anaadi' or that without a beginning. So will be my BLOG.....

The Mind rules the Heart

This topic came to my mind or heart should i say about a week back. I was attending a meeting - Meet the Author with my mom. It was a meeting where Writer Sivashankari was talking. Aunty and mom are close friends for more than 40 yrs. I had gone with my parents to attend the function.

I was as usual drifting and thinking when people were talking. Suddenly Aunty brought out a point, we are behaving more like a professional than being a human.
That sparked me to write this. Actually I should thank Aunty for giving me the idea, the urge to think on this.

What are we doing of late? The work we do has taken over us so much that we always think, act, behave as we behave in office. The professional in us dominates. Professional here being the mind rules over the heart. I see people around me behaving the same way i behave. Let me talk about myself, since i have the right to talk anything...see here again, i am thinking if i write about my own friends, will they mistake me....
Adai, c'mon grow up...this is the comment i would get from all my friends....we are all mature we think differently.

Mature mature nu sollitu....we have started to go into our own cocoons, we have withdrawn ourselves and have started to behave very indifferently.

I did not realise this until very recently. In Tamil we have a word " Ethirparpu" The English translation being "Expectation" .i prefer to keep it in Tamil. I used to talk, move, behave with all my friends without the ethirparpu..that i thought was pure friendship, my heart came first, my mind was not there at all. I did not think before i acted or behaved. But now of late, i don't do that. I have started to see a reason, or rather should i say i have started to think, these guys have not called me, why should i call them??
If we need something then, we call more than once and talk to all the people at home, from the friend, to his wife, to his parents, to his dog to his watchman. Why because i need to get this thing done. I would go all the way even to his house if i need to get my work done, but otherwise i would not even call them. Why have we become so materialistic?? What is happening to people?? Why this selfishness??
I wonder, is education making us bad or is that too much of professionalism making us heartless??

There was a time, when we did not have mobile phones with us, not use Internet so much, but just pick up Ur bike go to Ur friend's place and pick him up to go where? no where, just for the heck of it and my friends use to come without any hesitation. Now, i myself think, should i go? will he come?? What will he think?
C'mon man, he is the same friend who was with me from my college...why this hesitation?? Leave alone going out, you don't even call him/her...u think, why should i call him ? there is nothing to talk, what will i talk? My god....the mind is taking over...what is happening to us?? we don't go by our heart.....

We always say, we have a family...the responsibilities change. I still see few of them, who still are the same....my Mom is the best example...her friendship with Sivashankari aunty is unconditional. They care a damn...they don't think what each one is doing, even if they are busy, they take up their work and call them back and chat. They talk to each other almost daily. She does not even think once, if aunty called up or do i have a reason to call her. That is friendship.
I have to learn from them. There is no expectation from either of them. The Heart is the king....Mind goes by what the heart says.

C'mon guys let us be Mature, this is maturity..let us throw the selfishness that is crawling into our body like a Virus. I don't know if all of you have seen Spider man II, where spider man is taken over my his mind and is corrupted, his spider dress is also black showing how much it has corrupted, and how when that is out of his mind, he becomes the original Spidey we all loved....that is what we all should do, remove all the corrupt, materialistic, selfish thoughts and become the same guys when we were in college or school without expectations. This is very important and now. With technology taking over us more and more, we will not be able to inculcate this to the next generation, This is very important to all of us and the next generation.

I am changing myself, i will not expect anything from anybody, my friendship will be unconditional. I will start today, right away. I will be changed person. Change starts from you and i am starting today, i hope people reading this will do the same....

Guys, i am Privileged to have you as friends, Thanks to all, who have stood by me all these years and will continue to do so, irrespective of how i am. Thanks.

5 comments:

Mriganayani said...

Hey Chandra - Nice post! Very thought provoking. I've been thinking about this. I do agree with you that in general, as teens grow into early 20's, they lose a little bit of that, and then in the 30's lost a little bit of that. And "that" means - the no hidden agenda kind of friendship, No worries about what the other person would think.

But I also think a little of that is needed - No I'm not saying that we should be materialistic. But, its probably the people we see at that stage of our life. Take for example, you and me. I first met you 11 or 12 yrs back in MBA. Those 2 yrs of my life - you were a wonderful friend and almost a big brother to me. I could talk anything I want with you. I still can. and I do! There is a level of comfort that I have talking to you. And in fact, after I left college, we lost touch and thanks to FB, we met each other again almost after 10 yrs! But, i still feel connected to you at that level. After a few chats and fb posts and replies, I feel that I have not lost a lot of time! It feels to me like we've been talking all these years! Now, I cannot say the same thing with friends I made say when I started working. There is a formality that is present even if they are close friends. I can't just blabber what I want - I have to think before I talk - especially in this country! ( which I think is way more than India). So, I think its a little bit of both.

What does get me..or that I don't get is that especially among some girls - and I've also knows guys do this - once they get married, they don't want to continue to keep in touch with good old friends. Sometimes the reason is silly and stupid that their partner does not approve or might not like them chatting with old friend! HUH? really? I can't get that. Or they don't have time to keep in touch or meet for a cup of coffee. But, I try and understand that too and just let it go.

All said and done, if your friend is a good close friend - or someone who's been your side for years in your life - you do have a level of comfort with them and unconditional friendship does exist. And I'm happy to say that I have a few friends - one of them being you - like this. I can call them up anytime of the day and I always have them at the other end to talk! I should say I'm blessed and lucky!

Chandra said...

Anu, i agree with u, it is a fact that sometimes we change with times, but my worry is that with we are getting more and more materialistic which is worrying. With friends there should not be any expectation, that is what friends are for and that is what i am trying to be.

Pretty Woman said...

nice thought! :-) ...except sometimes it becomes really difficult to identify a 'true friend' among a sea of 'friends'. Sad but true!

Chandra said...

Very true Jans, but then we are so naive that we think all are true friends...until u find out with ur experience.

Unknown said...

Useful Post and Thanks.

Tamil Astrology